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What can and cannot be done after the funeral of a loved one?


Death of a loved one – a grave and unthinkable tragedy. This can lead to deep apathy towards life and other serious problems. For example, you will have to organize burials, draw up documents and hold a commemoration. Many people have not encountered these cases, so they do not know how to do everything right and avoid mistakes. Often the relatives of a deceased person have a question about what can and cannot be done after the funeral in the first week or in the first year. There are many beliefs, traditions and own fears. In order not to run into various problems, you need to figure out your plan of action upon returning from the cemetery.

What should be done after the death of a person?

When a loved one dies, you must immediately start organizing the funeral. The ritual includes several stages. It will be necessary to correctly draw up all the papers so that there are no difficulties with the funeral. Burial can take place in any city, regardless of the official residence of the deceased. Cremation in Ukraine is possible in 3 cities: Kiev, Kharkov, Odessa.

There are the following three steps:

  1. Farewell.
  2. Burial or cremation
  3. Wake.

It is advisable to decide in advance where exactly each of the above stages will take place. Be sure to inform friends, acquaintances and relatives of the deceased person about this. It is necessary to take care of ritual transport in advance. It is advisable to rent a hearse for the coffin and a bus for guests. Wake can be held in a restaurant or at home.

Pohoron to-do list

As soon as the funeral has taken place, it is necessary to do a large number of cases that are associated with the loss of a loved one. Some things will have to be done right away, some – after forties, part within 6 months.

Main tasks after the funeral:

  • disinfect the living area;
  • completely remove and distribute the things of the deceased person;
  • to make a burial of the ashes, if there was a cremation of the body;
  • organize a commemoration on the 9th and 40th day;
  • receive payments, benefits and compensation for funerals;
  • inheritance;
  • put a monument on the grave.

Orthodox funeral traditions

It is imperative to hold a commemoration, as this is an integral part of the ritual ceremony. The essence of the procedure is to help the soul find peace and ascend to heaven.

When to commemorate a deceased person:

  1. On the day of the burial. On this day, the soul will be called to the first worship of God. Before the funeral, she was on the ground. It is necessary to invite all the people who were at the funeral and burial. Friends, colleagues, relatives and acquaintances can come to the wake.
  2. On the 9th day. The soul will begin to get acquainted with the torments of hell over the next 30 days. It is desirable that only the closest relatives and friends were at the wake.
  3. On the 40th day. The soul is called to God's judgment, where God will decide where exactly it will go. On this day, all the people who were at the funeral should gather.

Remember a person should be at the table in a circle of friends and close people. It is best to gather in an apartment or house. Be sure to pray to God, as the prayer – the biggest help. Living people should help the soul of a dead person. Be sure to bring food to the cemetery the day after the burial (breakfast at the cemetery). You can put boiled eggs, cookies, sweets and sandwiches on the grave.

Secular norms of behavior after a funeral

  1. Giving into mourning. Relatives should wear modest black clothes, girls should cover their heads with black scarves. Guys are required to walk with a black armband.
  2. The next day after the burial, you should visit the grave of the deceased person. It is necessary to honor the memory and once again say goodbye to the departed.
  3. The house should be cleaned after how the coffin was taken out of it. We need to do a wet cleaning and wipe the floors in all rooms. It is advisable to do this not to the blood relatives of the deceased.
  4. Within forty days after the burial of a person, it is recommended that his clothes be distributed. It is advisable to give things to the church or people who need them.
  5. You can go on vacation, but it is advisable to give up various entertainments.
  6. In a year, a monument should be erected on the grave. The temporary cross that stood over the burial site must be buried in the ground or burned.

How to behave at the wake?

You should sympathize with the grieving people and support them. It is enough to hug a person and cry with him. You don't have to say a lot of things to him. Sympathy should be shown only by actions and deeds.

What absolutely can not be done after the funeral

When relatives see off the last journey of a deceased person, they need to remember certain things. They must be abandoned in the first days and months. If you do not follow the signs, this can lead to the appearance of various diseases.

What not to do after burial:

  1. It is forbidden to consume alcoholic beverages. Such a ban is valid not only on the day of the funeral, but also on the 9th and 40th day.
  2. If more than one person died on that day, but several people, you should not go from one funeral dinner to another.
  3. It is forbidden to take with you flowers from the cemetery, even the most beautiful and fresh ones.
  4. Do not cry a lot and talk or shout loudly at a funeral.

There are a huge number of signs that you can’t do at the funeral of a relative. A person must decide for himself whether to believe him or not. It is best to play it safe and follow all the tips and recommendations. This will help to avoid various health problems.

Signs and superstitions

Powerful energy is associated with the funeral. It can cause various diseases and damage. Cemetery – the best place for magicians and sorcerers who want to draw their energy and communicate with the dead. For this reason, at a funeral, you can earn damage, the evil eye, or various health problems.

Funeral signs:

  1. You should not come to the funeral with your child. The baby still has a weak energy, so it is quite easy to infiltrate it.
  2. Pregnant women are not allowed to attend funerals. The soul of a dead person can harm a born child.
  3. It is not recommended to cross the road along which a crowd of people walk along with a coffin. This can lead to various diseases and troubles.
  4. Don't stand on the edge of the grave at a funeral. If a person falls into a hole, he will soon die.
  5. We need to hang mirrors and not watch TV. Any mirror surface must be covered.
  6. You can not immediately make repairs in the apartment in which the deceased lived.
  7. You shouldn't cut your hair after a person's death.
  8. Photographs of the deceased should be kept separate from living people.
  9. The cleaning of the apartment should be done after the coffin with the dead is moved over the threshold.

You need to know that family members are forbidden to go ahead of the funeral procession, carry the coffin and wreaths. You should not drink alcoholic beverages before and after the funeral.

What to do with the things of the deceased after the funeral

Within 40 days, the things of the deceased should be distributed to the needy or the poor. When relatives give clothes to people, they should pray for the repose of the soul of the departed. Do not throw away the belongings of a deceased person. If a relative was very ill before death, it is allowed to burn the clothes.

Recommendations from psychologists

Psychologists recommend not to suffer much for a dead person. Relatives should restrain themselves so as not to harm physical and psychological health. You need to sincerely pray, support loved ones and friends. It is desirable to understand and accept that the soul of a deceased person has passed into a better afterlife.

Other prohibitions

It must be remembered that relatives should give up various holidays. Do not go to recreational activities until a year after the death of a person. It is advisable to refuse to celebrate a birthday. You cannot visit guests within 40 days after the death of a relative. Each family must decide for itself what can and cannot be done.

Date: 24 January 2022
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