Words of condolences

Content::

• Are condolences needed?
• Verbal condolences
• Condolences expressed in writing
• Expressions of condolences
• Examples of verbal condolences
• Examples of written condolences
• Condolences on the occasion of death: taboo phrases

Death is as integral a part of our existence as birth, marriage, or moving. It affects modern people even if the tragedy occurs in someone else’s family. A month ago, a colleague’s husband died, yesterday you found out that your friend’s hairdresser had just arrived from his aunt’s funeral. In each such case, it is customary to express sympathy to a friend and utter words of condolences. How to do this correctly, what words to find to encourage the mourner, will be discussed later in the article.

Are condolences needed?

Inside each of us sits a primal fear of death. It is expressed in mute silence and the desire to leave the interlocutor as soon as they learned the news that someone among his relatives had died. It was the socialization of our society that led to the overpowering of negative emotions, empathy for the grief of others, and expression of sympathy in words. Even a briefly expressed condolences for a lost loved one will become moral support in his misfortune.

Verbal condolences

The oral form of condolences is the most common. As soon as you meet a neighbor who recently lost his mother, be sure to approach him. It is usually difficult for the bereaved to talk about their loss, so start the conversation first. A little participation is enough to make a person’s soul feel better.

Solemn speeches at funerals or during wakes are also considered condolences. In this case, you turn not only to your friend, but to everyone who has been affected by an irreparable loss.

Condolences expressed in writing

There are several options to express your sympathy in writing:

1. Send a postcard or write a short letter. At the same time, choose the image on the postcard according to the occasion.
2. Order a funeral wreath for the day of the funeral and write parting phrases on the funeral ribbon.
3. Write encouraging words in an email or messenger, remotely support a person in grief.
4. Compose an obituary and publish it in a printed publication/hang it on a stand/ask a radio announcer to read it at a certain time.

Important! Sending condolences via SMS is considered bad manners. They resort to it only when there are no other contacts and the subscriber does not pick up the phone.

Expressions of condolences

The main reason why people find it difficult to express their sympathy; This is the inability to immediately find words that suit the occasion. Then limit yourself to brief expressions. Regardless of whether you knew the deceased personally, your goal should be to encourage and support your acquaintance.

Examples of verbal condolences

Whether you're offering encouraging words over the phone, face-to-face, or in public, beware of pretentiousness. You are not presenting yourself, but trying to share the grief of another person. Be sincere, speak succinctly and to the point, do not unnecessarily ennoble the deceased, but also do not talk about his shortcomings. Focus on the positive character traits of the deceased, because he probably had them.

• I am deeply shocked by what happened. Hang in there, you have a family.
• I didn’t expect this to happen to Ivan Ivanovich. May the Lord take him to Heaven.
• It is especially difficult to bury young people. Be strong!
• Your mother has always been so kind and sympathetic to everyone. We all feel a sad loss.
• I'm sorry for your loss. Now it is very important to find meaning in everything that happened, which can become a consolation in your life.
• Contact us for any help. I know that it is very difficult to lose the breadwinner of a family at such an hour.
• My sincere condolences. You and your brother have been inseparable since childhood.
• May he rest in peace. Age takes its toll.
• I mourn with you. Alla Antonovna had a heart of gold, and she always helped me with advice.
• Patience and endurance to you. I believe that God will not leave you in difficult times.

Close friends of the deceased may add personal memories to their condolences. Just remember that the story told must positively characterize the deceased.

Examples of written condolences

The written message is usually reread by all family members several times. Therefore, take seriously the choice of sympathetic words. Phrases must be interpreted unambiguously, without half-hints.

• We mourn with you your Angel. It is always difficult for parents to deal with the death of their children.
• We sincerely sympathize with your bereavement. Ready to support at any moment.
• Please accept our condolences on the death of your husband and our colleague, Alexei Fedorovich. He always spoke very warmly about his family.
• We express our support and sympathy in this difficult time for your family. Housemates #5.
• Losing loved ones is always difficult, but apparently their time has come. And we have only one thing left here - to believe that they are waiting for us.
• Let hope for the birth of grandchildren and faith in all good things enter your home after the death of your grandfather.
• I still make pies according to your grandmother’s recipe. She was a dear person to our entire yard.
• This week we lost a Man with a capital M, a Master of his craft and our permanent leader. May he rest in peace.
• Let us share your grief at the passing of your mother. God bless you!
• We pray with you for the soul of the newly deceased Alexei. This is an irreparable loss.

Important! Condolences in verse are used for obituaries or inscriptions on wreaths.

Condolences on the occasion of death: taboo phrases

People experiencing such a personal tragedy as the loss of a loved one are sometimes suspicious and especially susceptible to the words of others. A careless phrase can drive them into even deeper depression. What rhetoric should you not resort to when expressing condolences?

1. Everything will pass, said Solomon. We also experienced the death of our aunt a year ago and have only just recovered. For a person in trouble, today’s moment, today’s well-being is important, and he needs to gradually cry out his loss. Take your time and let the person drink the cup of grief fully.
2. What a pity that he didn’t catch the previous flight then. Now, if you called your mom, she wouldn't have to walk down a slippery slope. Don't project the past onto the present. History does not tolerate the subjunctive mood.
3. Come on, stop crying. Control yourself, don't say too much. There is no need to remind a person in mourning about external decency. Believe me, he doesn't care what he looks like.
4. He was sick for a very long time. Given his careless attitude towards health, such an end should have been expected.. Even if this is true, such phrases hurt the hearts of household members. After all, even the most hopelessly ill person continues to be a dear person to the family.
5. Have you filed a statement with the police? And the doctor will definitely say that he prescribed the right treatment. Don't look for the guilty now. People need support in grief, not instructions for further action.
6. Judging by the way he behaved, the Lord did the right thing in taking him to himself. You need to pray a lot and for a long time for his soul. Only in a religious environment will you be understood accordingly. Among the majority of the population, many actions condemned by the Church are perceived as completely acceptable behavior.